2008 Woodie Awards
Getting An 'A' In Debt
How to get into Debt as a college student
By Kemy Clermont
Issue date: 1/22/07 Section: Features
Are you looking for an interesting major that is terribly easy? Are you trying to have fun and at the same time gain material assets? Well have I have a major for you, "Broke and in Debt Administration" (BDA). In order to complete this major, you must receive an 'A' in all the classes. You must also be in situations where you have to resort to looking under the couch cushion for 60 cents to buy a bag of potato chips or borrowing a large sum of money from friends and family members with the false promise of repayment.
In order to earn your degree, there are very important steps that you should take. The first class you must take is BDA 1000: Pre-Debt. The main objective of this course is to look for free products. If one day you are walking through the campus or at the mall and you see an ad for a free t-shirt or teddy bear, then sign up. Do not worry about reading the fine print, just sign any necessary paperwork. After putting down your John Hancock, take your free gift and walk away as if you have just suckered that person. To complete this assignment, it will take about 2-4 weeks and you will receive that credit card. If you complete this portion then you will receive your first 'A'. Congratulations!
The second class you must take is BDA 2112: Recklessly Using Your Card. This class begins with you making the decision to use the card only in the case of emergency. The first few months, you only use it to buy your books, groceries (during dire situations only) and for medication (it was the flu season). Then one day it happens, your phone bill is due. In order to pass this class, you must use your credit card. A month or so later, you spot a shoe sale or a 50% off the entire stock sign. Better yet, the new Playstation 3 is out and of course you are going to need games too. Then you realize you have to upgrade your car system. What do you do? You use that credit card, again. According to you in your mind, that is an emergency; sales do not happen everyday.
In order to earn your degree, there are very important steps that you should take. The first class you must take is BDA 1000: Pre-Debt. The main objective of this course is to look for free products. If one day you are walking through the campus or at the mall and you see an ad for a free t-shirt or teddy bear, then sign up. Do not worry about reading the fine print, just sign any necessary paperwork. After putting down your John Hancock, take your free gift and walk away as if you have just suckered that person. To complete this assignment, it will take about 2-4 weeks and you will receive that credit card. If you complete this portion then you will receive your first 'A'. Congratulations!
The second class you must take is BDA 2112: Recklessly Using Your Card. This class begins with you making the decision to use the card only in the case of emergency. The first few months, you only use it to buy your books, groceries (during dire situations only) and for medication (it was the flu season). Then one day it happens, your phone bill is due. In order to pass this class, you must use your credit card. A month or so later, you spot a shoe sale or a 50% off the entire stock sign. Better yet, the new Playstation 3 is out and of course you are going to need games too. Then you realize you have to upgrade your car system. What do you do? You use that credit card, again. According to you in your mind, that is an emergency; sales do not happen everyday.