2008 Woodie Awards
From Best Friend to Ex-Friend
By Donyel L. Griffin
Issue date: 6/18/07 Section: Campus Life
Summer time is here and as we make plans to have some fun in the sun with people we love, it's also time to clear out anything negative in your life, and that may even include people. You may remember an article in a past issue, which asked, about your friends in which the topic of how to maintain relationships with buddies from high school was discussed. However, let's move on and ask what you do when someone you used to be close to, you no longer feel a connection with. Some people think it will never happen to them and their group of friends, but the truth is, as people change or move on sometimes that can cause a rift in your friendship. It can especially be hard, if at one point you considered yourself best friends and would live, eat, hang out, and laugh together and now you are mere strangers that won't even speak when you pass one another in the cafeteria or your encounters with one another are marked with cold stares and snide remarks.
It's enough to make one want to say, "I thought I left all the drama back in high school". One thing you can do is make an effort to repair the situation. If you are at fault, or if you feel the other person is at fault, as corny as it may sound, you need to talk about it. Besides, how many of us have gotten upset at the wrong people over things we "heard" only to find out that it wasn't the truth. And it's not just a female or male thing; whether you're a guy or a girl, we have all experienced shady friends or been betrayed in someway by someone we thought was our friend. And what about relationships? What if you considered your boyfriend or girlfriend your best friend and now the relationship has fallen apart? Well, follow the same suit. If there are issues you can't forgive or get past, leave them alone. Maybe that's easier said than done, but it's better than being miserable.
Summer is also when you see who your true friends are. It's the chance when you get to see if those people you spent endless hours staying up all night in your dorm room with or people you chilled with all semester will even try to keep in contact with you. It's hard; especially when people live in different parts of the state, but there are always text messages, the net, and other ways to easily show someone you care, if you can't do it in person. There is no such thing as "too busy", if someone genuinely is a friend they will make an effort to contact you.
Sometimes you might need to come to the realization you have outgrown a friendship. This doesn't mean you never have to talk to the person again, but maybe time and experience has changed one of you, the both to the point where you can't relate anymore. No matter which solution you choose remember at the end of the day this is the time to toss out old problems and focus on the goals you have for yourself. If you can't resolve the issues you have with a former best friend, then it's time to move on and appreciate those you do have around you. Forgiving and forgetting is up to you, but the main point is to move on. Summer is the universal season of fun, relaxation and freedom, so loosen those chains of regret and make sure you have a worth while couple of months before it's time to hit the books again.
It's enough to make one want to say, "I thought I left all the drama back in high school". One thing you can do is make an effort to repair the situation. If you are at fault, or if you feel the other person is at fault, as corny as it may sound, you need to talk about it. Besides, how many of us have gotten upset at the wrong people over things we "heard" only to find out that it wasn't the truth. And it's not just a female or male thing; whether you're a guy or a girl, we have all experienced shady friends or been betrayed in someway by someone we thought was our friend. And what about relationships? What if you considered your boyfriend or girlfriend your best friend and now the relationship has fallen apart? Well, follow the same suit. If there are issues you can't forgive or get past, leave them alone. Maybe that's easier said than done, but it's better than being miserable.
Summer is also when you see who your true friends are. It's the chance when you get to see if those people you spent endless hours staying up all night in your dorm room with or people you chilled with all semester will even try to keep in contact with you. It's hard; especially when people live in different parts of the state, but there are always text messages, the net, and other ways to easily show someone you care, if you can't do it in person. There is no such thing as "too busy", if someone genuinely is a friend they will make an effort to contact you.
Sometimes you might need to come to the realization you have outgrown a friendship. This doesn't mean you never have to talk to the person again, but maybe time and experience has changed one of you, the both to the point where you can't relate anymore. No matter which solution you choose remember at the end of the day this is the time to toss out old problems and focus on the goals you have for yourself. If you can't resolve the issues you have with a former best friend, then it's time to move on and appreciate those you do have around you. Forgiving and forgetting is up to you, but the main point is to move on. Summer is the universal season of fun, relaxation and freedom, so loosen those chains of regret and make sure you have a worth while couple of months before it's time to hit the books again.